Sunday, August 14, 2005

You know your butts too big when.....

You're sitting in the bathtub and your letting the water drain out and you think the tub is empty, but you move a little bit to one side and a huge rush of water comes out from behind you!!!!! Your butt's too big! Anytime you can use your butt as a dam, it's too big.

When you can stand in between the kitchen and front room doorway and 6 inches of your butt is in the kitchen while the rest of you is in the front room.....your butt's too big!!

When you go to get up off the toilet seat and you can hear the seal between the toliet seat and your butt break (like opening a fresh jar of pickles) you KNOW your butt's too big!

Speaking of big butts, we went to Marine World last week. We went on the "Rapids" ride and got all wet, I was soaked through and through. My niece and I had to make a pit stop before moving on to the next ride.

So we both go into the ladies' room. I get into the stall and pull out the butt gaskets (toilet seat covers), I always use two...don't know why I just do, I don't hover too well either, I always feel like I'm gonna fall in. Well I do my business and go to get up, well, my butt was still wet from the water ride, and of course it was a pretty hot day. I couldn't get that cover off of my butt for NOTHIN!

First I tried shakin' what my momma gave me....nope stuck. Then I try bending my knees and doing sort of pretend "squats" to get the thing unstuck from my behind, nope no luck. So reluctantly, I reach back there to pull the cover off of my rear and of course, it comes of in pieces!! Not all at once, in pieces. Here I am having to peel little of pieces of this paper off of my hieny. God it took forever!!! I didn't even know if I had got it all at the time because by then my butt was so cold from being in wet pants and underware (from the water ride of course) that it was numb!!!!!

Well I get outside and my boys are waiting for me and I look around for my niece and she's not there yet. She finally comes out and explained my little problem to her and I asked if she had the same problem. She was just laughing and laughing and said she DID have the same problem. Now she's a little thing, no where near my size, so I guess that's not just a big butt problem!!!

Come on fess up....I can't be the only one who has these big butt revelations!

5 Comments:

Blogger Random me said...

..but can you place a drink on your's?? Try having a shelf! Not cool! So, not cool!

Love your blog! I'm your stalker. Have a nice day! :-)

8:35 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Okay, I have a big booty too! I've had that issue in the bathtub on numerous occasions!

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Lara said...

Ha! OK...the funniest bootay story is about my best friend's mom.

She was at a garage sale and she bent over to look at something. Well, some guy was standing near her and leaned up against her and rested his arm on her butt. She stood up really quick and yelled. He said, "Oh, sorry. I thought you were a table!" Ha!!!

11:21 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

OMgosh Lara, that is Heelarious!

11:38 PM  
Anonymous David said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:27 PM  

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