Truth and Reality Being Real

Original FaceBook note posted February 15, 2014

Today was a really difficult day. One of those days where you just want to crawl in bed and sleep forever. A day where you want to shut out everyone and everything and pretend that all of the things that life is hurling at you is just a dream. A terrible dream that actually stays away as long as you are asleep.Well, I didn't sleep. I wanted to, but instead of slumbering I got up and went running. Have I mentioned how much I hate running? Yeah, I thought so. 

Now, let me be real for a minute. Why? Because I believe that if me being real can help someone who is hurting just as much as I am, then it's all worth it, I'll bare my soul for you to see. 

Reality: I hate what life is dishing out to me right now. I've actually deleted this sentence several times because I've thought that the word "hate" is too strong. But, really, sometimes I just hate it. It's not fun. It's hard and painful. it's definitely not something that I ever wanted and certainly would have never asked for. But it is what it is. I roll with it and try to keep moving forward - today was really hard to stand, let alone move forward. 

Now back to my other "hate"...running. So I ran today. You know, the "Becky" kind of running. 30 seconds slow jog - 30 seconds fast walk for 2 miles- at least that's what I call running. Actually, if I were to time myself I think my fast walk is faster than my slow jog, but I'll keep telling myself different because it makes me feel better. As I was out there I kept thinking "Why am I out here? I hate this. I should be underneath my covers blocking out the world from my life by sleeping my afternoon away." But I wasn't under my covers. I was out there because I knew that's what I needed. I needed it for my mind. For my body. For my health. For my soul. I knew that running would make me stronger. Being out in the fresh air would help me clear my mind. Being alone in a beautiful setting with music on would help me focus on God and His strength and encouragement for my life. I pressed on and I felt better. 

Truth: The trials and difficulties I so hate right now WILL make me stronger. It's so easy to want to give up, but giving up gets me nowhere. 

Sometimes it's difficult to see where the strength will come from when you are so weak, but we don't have to see it...we just have to DO IT. It's not easy. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Nothing lasting is without a price, a sacrifice. I picked myself up today. Honestly, not because *I* wanted to, but because others need me to. I've seen the fearful looks on my boys faces. I've seen them turn to me for their cues, and I go forward and they follow suit...WE go on. We don't give up. We go running. No matter how much we hate it. It makes us stronger. 

This life will build us up and one day we won't hate it any longer. We will grow to appreciate it because it has shaped us into something beautiful.