Brand new hope

A while back I posted an entry titled "My fear of Sunsets". I remember vividly how I felt while I wrote that piece and how afraid I was, and still am, of not knowing what will come after the sunset. Willy's health has been a weight on my mind and heart for some time now.

I went away with my buddy Lara and her precious baby this week. To get out, away and to scrap a bit. We were in a beautiful home in the mountains of Sonora, and this is the view I had each morning from my bed.

The first morning, I didn't have my camera with me and was really too awe struck to get up and fetch it. The second morning, I had my camera by my side and was able to capture a glimpse of the beauty and hope of this glorious sunrise.

I truly feel that we have gotten through an extremely rough/crucial time and I now have something to look forward to.

Willy had been quite a trooper with his treatments, but it is awfully depressing. Depressing for all of us, but he's the one who has to deal with being in the clinic 5 hours at a time 3 days a week. It weights on his mind and takes a toll on his body. It really isn't any fun, I mean when he walks out of the house first thing in the morning, it's not like I can say "have fun" even "have a good day" seems inappropriate , so I've just resorted to not saying anything except "I love you".

A week ago we went to an appointment with the home hemo dialysis clinic. Willy was extremely thrilled and totally interested in doing this. They needed insurance approval before we could begin and that came in a matter of days! So, on Monday he begins training for home hemo dialysis.

It's not going to be easy, at all. The process will still take about 5 hours at home and it's a 6day per week treatment. We will have the machines here, and he will literally self-treat. The training is intensive, daily for about 5 weeks. But he will have control of his own treatment in his own home on his own schedule.

The boys are aware of what's going on and this "in your face" treatment. But you know, we've got to do what we've got to do. At this point getting Willy out of the clinic is what we GOT to do.

I totally feel new hope for Willy. Most importantly, He feels new hope. His health problems are not going away but the way we're dealing with them are beginning to look a little less depressing. He would so much rather spend 5 hours in his own home with is family surrounding him, being able to watch cable tv or a movie of his choice. Instead of going to the clinic, hearing other patients complain, seeing nothing but elderly people, amputees just laying there with no life in their eyes, no smiles on their faces, no strength to walk.

Maybe it's just the clinic he's at because I know there are other more lively, young and hopeful people on dialysis out there. Willy just happens to be seated with the ones who scream to be released or who don't have enough strength to walk or even desire to talk. He's the most patient man I've ever known, but after just six months, he can't take it anymore. We've been told he'll likely have from 3-6 years more of this before a transplant would be possible.

So, thanks to all of the wonderful technicians who've assisted my husband. You are incredibly gifted, I have no idea how you do what you do for hours on end. How you can see patients come and go, is beyond me. You are amazing people and totally under appreciated.

Today was Willy's last clinic treatment, on Monday he starts his training to take care of himself. Hope.....there is hope