Random feelings....

Today was tough. Really tough.

But on the positive side, our tickets are in-hand, car is rented and bags are *getting* packed!

Little Willy and I are on our way to Tennessee for Lee Day! We're going to check out the campus he's most likely going to attend in the fall, he needs to make his final decision and submit his letter of intent by the end of this month.

I'll be taking LOTS of pictures and trying to hold myself together.

It's a good thing and I'm so proud of my son but sometimes I wish he hadn't grown up so fast.

I remember so vividly one day when he was about 5 years old. I was talking to him about starting school and telling him there would be times that mommy and daddy couldn't be with him. But to remember that God was always there with him. When he went to school, and when he grew up and got a job and then when he got married that God would always be with him even if I wasn't there. God never fails and God never changes and he is always present.

Well, he looked up at me with these big tears in his eyes and said "mommy, I never want to leave you. I'm never getting a job because I always want to be near you" OMGosh, it was the sweetest thing ever. But I told him that even though he felt like that right then, that one day he would feel differently. And when he did feel differently to "never forget God"

I think back to that day and I somehow feel, there's still that little boy in him not wanting to leave me and his family. Actually, contrary to what I've been thinking all along, it's *me* that needs to be reminded that no matter where my kids are or where my husband is "God is ever present, with me".

I think I've spent so much time giving and giving, helping, working and working, caring and praying for others, trying to keep everyone together and trying to keep some sort of normalcy in my children's lives, that I've exhausted every part of my being. It's time to stop for a moment and remember God....for myself. He is my strength, my portion, my rock, my fortress my strongtower, my refuge, my comfort and the rest for my soul.

Going away will be good, we have a week together and I'm sure there will be lots of talking about the future.... and the past. Time to begin a new stage in our relationship as mother and son....time to begin to let go and let him fly.