Slowly but surely

It's been a LONG month. I can't even begin to tell you how busy and how tired I am. All the running around is making me crazy. But somehow I manage to get up everyday and get the boys and myself to school on time. That in itself is a miracle.

Ok, we've had cereal for dinner a few times as well as eggs and top ramen...but I've also managed to cook some meals in between taking two kids to practice at different fields then watching and shooting another's game at a different field and taking another to work and then picking up the other two after practice. Oh yeah trying to shoot spring sports at the H.S. too. See where I'm coming from?

All the while Willy has been very weak and not able to drive...hence my craziness.

It's amazing that he can go from "Stroke" causing high blood pressure with 5 medications to treat it to "Dizzy & fainting" low blood pressure off all meds in a matter of weeks. Dialysis is still REALLY tough. There seems to be no middle ground from him, treatment is either REALLY bad or really good, unfortunately he's had only 2 really good treatments in the last 3 weeks.

He left the house for something other than treatment for the first time this week. He wanted so bad to see Alex's scrimmage game, he made it to the park but just couldn't sit out there the entire time, he was exhausted. Then he just HAD to see the boys in their Opening Day Ceremony for baseball. Poor guy stayed in the car and watched but it was really good for him to get out.

I think it's frustrating him, the fact that it seems like his life is revolving around his treatments. His entire day is gone by the time he gets home during the week and he's starting to get frustrated with the Saturday treatments now, knowing what the boys' baseball schedules are.

It's hard. Hard to watch. Hard to cope. Hard to do everything....well maybe not everything.

Willy made dinner for us last night and he made breakfast for us this morning too!

So, in all of this he still realizes how stressed I am and is trying to relieve some of the pressure by doing the things I feel is important but just can't get to. So slowly but surely things are returning to normal :)

Amazing love

Through all of Willy's illness, I think Alex has been the most affected. Sure, it hasn't been easy for me, at all, but my coping skills have been well exercised and had time to mature.

This poor child has seen his father at his weakest point and it scared him to no end.

As a parent you try your best to shield your children from the terrors and fears of the big bad outside world, but what do you do when that terror and fear invades your own home? When it can't be hidden and your children can't be protected from it?

You face it, head on. With prayer and faith, together. Knowing, believing, that no matter what you have to deal with, you will get through.

So through all of this, we've been extremely open with the boys. I mean it's not like we can hide the fact that dad was critically ill and needed drastic attention.

One night while Willy was in the hospital, I found Alex in my room, under Willy's covers. Just laying there where dad sleeps, it broke my heart to see him there, hoping, wishing that dad was ok, he'd been so sick the past several months.

It is so amazing to see these two together. Lex is our miracle baby and totally "father's boy" (yes, I have no idea why but he calls him "father" lol) These two have been inseparable since Lex was born, dad has been home with him and cared for him all these years.

These pictures were taken in the hospital when Willy first went on dialysis. Alex was so glad to see him up and alert after being so sick for so long.