Today is...

One of the most heartbreaking days of my life.

I hurt.

I hurt for my children.

I've felt this hurt before.  I feel this hurt now. I never wanted THEM to hurt like this.

I wish I could protect them from this hurt.

I'm helpless.

I'm heartbroken.

And it's only 11am

There's a Cry Deep Down

There's a cry deep down in my heart.  A burning.  A hurt. An unsettled grief.

I feel it lump in my chest.  It lumps in my throat.  I swallow it down.  I push it back down.

I can't let it out. I'm too busy and in a public place.  I wait for solitude, but there are people all around me.  

My eyes swell with tears and they flow.  No one sees. No one notices.  I'm relieved. I stop.

The cry is still there.

I wait.

I want.

The dam is built. The walls hold steady.  Fortified.  I swallow.

There's a cry deep down in my heart.