My fear of sunsets

I know it sounds silly. Last month we've had some amazing sunsets, this bright orange ball of fire spewing off rays of orange, pink and violet across the horizon as it sets. It's been a trying and stress-filled month, seeing those sunsets tugged at my gut quite a bit.

Seems every sunset I've faced lately leaves me with a gripping fear and haunting question, "will it rise again tomorrow?"

I've been through a lot the past few months, well, when I think of it, the past few years. Willy's failing health has weighed greatly on my mind and physical well being. There have been some really dim days and dark, dark nights. The past couple of weeks being the most difficult.

What are you supposed to do when eyes that once looked at you with desire and joy hold a vacant stare when opened? A voice that once boomed with a thrilling bass and jovial laugh, is now a weakened murmur groaning with pain? Strong, warm hands that used to hold, comfort and protect grow shaky and tremble with weakness. This is where I've been for a while, where HE has been. It's been tough. It is tough. Yet we manage, by the grace of God to get through.

Thank God after a stay at Stanford, Willy's home and being treated. It's amazing, when you get a grasp of how the human body is made, to see the effects of what happens when it's not working properly. And even more amazing is seeing the wisdom God has given man to help the body when it's not working.

Willy eye's haven't held this much light in months, he's laughed and smiled more this week than he has in several months. His voice, strong. Still not as strong as I've known it to be but I'll settle for now.

We have a long haul ahead of us, the rest of our lives will be difficult. Yet, we press on and make the best of what we have. 'Cause we all know, "life for me ain't been no crystal stair".

My butt is kicked!

Oh man, the WORST feeling in the world is being helpless. That's exactly how I felt for the most part of this weekend.

With Willy laid up and out of commission, I got sick. SICK SICK SICK! I haven't been this sick in YEARS.

Thank God I'm feeling better, still sore around my middle but at least I can function.

I do have to say I have the best boys. They jumped in and did their chores, kept things quite, walked to the store for what we needed. Cared for each other, me & their father. My Drew made me jello :) and the others did what they needed. You know I don't think I heard them argue once...but I *was* kinda out of it LOL If only they drove, it wouldn't have been so bad.

The Rock

He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Thought I'd come out from underneath my rock and post.

I've been so sick for the past week. Allergies and sinus problems kicked my butt! *Had* to go do work everyday, you know how that is, but I've got a three day weekend to get caught up.

Went out in search of rocks to photograph on Friday. Since I couldn't *ACTUALLY* crawl under one and sit for while. So I've been staring at this photograph I took of some stupid rocks for days, wishing I could jump into the picture.

But what would I do when I got there? Worms are nasty, I hate spiders. And quite frankly I just HATE getting dirty, eeww. So, I get off my butt, and look to THE Rock. And of course I start singing:

Where do I go? 
When there's nobody else to turn to 
Who do I talk to? 
When nobody wants to listen 
Who do I lean on? 
When there is no foundation stable 
I go to the rock 
I know He is able, I go to the rock 

I go to the rock of my salvation 
I go to the stone that the builders rejected 
I run to the mountain 
And the mountain stands by me 
When the Earth all around me is sinking sand 
On Christ the solid rock I stand 
When I need a shelter I go to the rock 

Where do I go, 
When the storms of life are threatening? 
Who do I turn to when these winds of sorrow blow? 
And is there a refuge in the time of tribulation 
Go to the rock, I know he is able 
I go to the rock 


It's gonna be a tough week for me, I'd appreciate any prayers you can lend
...I'll pay them back I promise :)

Fun fun fun!

The boys and I went to the Exploratorium today and had so much fun! I actually think this is the most fun we've had there, ever!

It sure does help when your kids are older and can understand the exhibits, read the instructions and "grasp" the concepts. Actually, they made me feel a bit out of the loop, because they been studying a lot of this stuff in school.

It was nice to get out and do something. I took over 100 pictures, would have taken more but only had 1 memory card with me. I'll post most of the pics to my photo site, in my "family time" gallery, in a new album.

But in the meantime here's one of ME! (and Andrew peeking behind me)

I took a step of faith today :)

Just in case you're wondering, I'm participating in a "2007 Photo a Day challenge" so I'll try to get my blog entries posted as well as my photos. I'm sure I won't be doing one a day...maybe one per week but if you're interested those entries can be found on my photography site 2007 Photo a Day Challenge.


So, with that, I bring up my topic of todays blogging.......



I did it! I went down and applied for my licenses. I'm going to take it one day at a time, but I also want to be prepared for when this thing blows wide open :)

I have to give a HUGE "thank you" to my wonderful friends. Lara, Lisa S., Rene, Annie (where are your pictures girl?) Lisa H. and my photography inspiration Grace. Without your encouragement, friendship, hand holding, inspiration, candor, attentive ears, laughs and many many silly hours, I'd be a mess. I certainly wouldn't have had the confidence to do this if it weren't for you, my friends.

Seriously ladies, you have no idea what you contribute to my life. You all know 2007 is a year of changes for me, but I trust that we will all be constants for eachother.

Ultimately God is the one who gives, but he uses people like you, kind, caring, and very very silly to help people like me along the way.

I love you ladies so much. A million thanks to you!

Happy New Year!

It's here. Ready or not. A year of changes this will be. I'm sad. I'm scared. I'm excited . I'm scared.

I'll take it a day at a time. I know it's gonna be rough. An emotional year.

Did I mention I was scared?