Boards torn up: July 2007

I have permission to cry

Yep, my children have given me permission to cry for the next month or so. My Benito, has promised not to call me a "little girl" when I start to cry. He actually said "You're supposed to cry mom. It's sad, but happy at the same time. But I understand, and it's ok if you cry"

HA! Words of wisdom from my bodyguard :)

Why am I crying? Well, I've only got 2 weeks and 1 day left at home with my oldest child. In two weeks, he will be leaving us, and in Tennessee starting a new life. His college life.

We had his grad/going away party on Saturday and what a wonderful time we had!

Thank you to everyone who helped set up, tear down and cook! Thanks to Teena for being there taking pictures that I couldn't get to! All the pictures in this post were taken by Teena, owner of Scrapper's Paradise

Thank you to all our friends and family who came to show your support and love for my son. We are all truly blessed to know him and to have him in our lives.

So if you see me and my eyes are watering, or tears streaming down my cheeks...it's allergy season isn't it? :)

Me, giving my speech. I have no clue what I said, but I cried when I said it!

This is Welo, my daddy, posing with Willy and Benito

The boys, always up to something. They are all so close, saying goodbye to Will is gonna be hard for them too.

Alex, not as shy as Will, but still he didn't say much. His "speech" was "I love my brother". He's gonna have the hardest time when Will's gone, he's so sensitive.

Dad and son. Ned I say more?

The "star" of the show....Tamales :)

I'm Back!

What a great time I had :) Relaxing, reading, making cards and most importantly, taking pictures!

I have some really great friends, even my friend who doesn't scrap understands my addiction and my need to photograph anything and everything!

She took me all over the mountains, stopping at a seconds notice when I saw something I liked. She's been scoping out places to hike and cemeteries to photograph. I LOVE taking pictures of old cemeteries, I know I'm weird but seriously, they are truly beautiful. Ginny even planned out a trip to the scrapbook store, just for me :)

Well, I've got over 500 pictures to go through....I've already weeded out about 150! I've got a couple of hundred of tamales to make by Saturday. But I just couldn't resist this picture. I'll post more as I get a chance.

See ya later!

Yep, I'm packing up for a week and running away to the mountains!

I'll be hiking and taking pictures by day and card making by night :)

Ginny and I didn't get to go away last summer but we're on our way in the morning....I'm so excited!

Today, I wept.

Today I wept. I cried and I cried, and my husband held me.

He held me tight and didn't say a word. He kissed me and stroked my shoulders, but most of all he held me tight.

See, I won't regret posting this because for the past year I've cried by myself. I've cried in the car. I've cried at work. I've cried myself to sleep without anyone knowing or realizing. I've even cried in front of him and he didn't even notice.

I've cried because of him. I cried for him. I cried for my children. I cried because of fear.

Today, I cried for me. I wept, and he heard, he felt, he cared....and it made me weep even more.

There are no words

No words can express how I feel at this moment.

If you know me and my family and the hell we've been and are going through, you will understand.

Don't ever....EVER give up my friends, never!

Brave, Strong, Couragous....determined

This is my husband.

I can't put into words how proud I am of him. Not just his determination in his weight loss but his determination to stay alive.

As I posted before, he is now in training for "Home hemo dialysis". The training is five days per week for about 5 weeks.

His VERY first day of training, they showed him how to set up the dializer, had him clean his access and then handed him one of the lines for him to put in himself. The "lines" are basically a needle connected to a tubing that will allow the blood to flow either in or out of his body. Yep, he had to stick himself - the very first day!

They had him start on the arterial side and he got the needle in but he just couldn't get in just right, so the nurse had to take over. To Willy's credit though, his arterial side is in really deep and it's kinda turned, so it's tricky trying to position himself and get the needle in just right.

The past two days he's done the veinous side and got the line in no problem.

He has to draw his own blood thinner (heprin) and inject it through the lines. He has to take his own BP and monitor it. He's going to have to draw his own labs and spin it in a centrifuge here at home once he's all set up.

I look at him in amazement. He's not balked at this once. He's not complained about sticking himself once. He's ready and he's willing and he's DETERMINED.

Here's a little something....

I threw together really quick.

I was processing photos the other day and Willy looked at the computer and asked who was the person in the picture. I looked at him like he was stoopid and realized he really didn't recognize the person in the picture. I said "It's you!". He then looked at me like I was stoopid, got closer to the computer and all he could say was "Oh my God".

The picture he was looking at was the last one in this series- July. I then began to pull up pictures from throughout this and last year and he just couldn't believe how different he looked. So I share with you the man who is changing right before my eyes!

BTW - He's at 115lbs lost!

We are all so proud of him!