Things do get crazy sometimes, how do you deal with them?

I've been asked this question so many times during my life, it still amazes me. My own drug addict brother once told me I should have been the one who was a substance abuser.

Things have been quite hectic this week. I was expecting this week to be crazy with school orientation and all. I knew I was going to have to put in a few late nights at the office, and things are always rough trying to get school open.

What I didn’t know is that while I was going home for lunch on Monday, I’d be hit by a car. It was all pretty surreal but I’ve survived. I’m banged up a bit, my head still hurts and my shoulder is really sore but I’m ok. My car needs help LOL, it’s off in the body shop somewhere.

Between all of this and trying to get Andrew’s health situation in taken care of it can be very stressful. But if I’ve learned anything through all of the “boards torn up” in my life is that

· God always takes care of me
· God will let nothing come my way that I cannot handle
· When there doesn’t seem to be anything else I can do, I just need to be still and wait

I’ve gone through so many hardships and trials in my life that these things are just minor annoyances. Sure, we don’t know what’s going on with Andrew but whatever the problem is we’ll get through it. Sure I don’t have a car right now, but we do have the little one and even though all of us don’t fit in the little car, we’re close enough to be dropped off and picked up if the other needs the car.

Hey try being pregnant and in labor with your first born child and not having a car! Now THAT was hard! Our little VW Rabbit broke down a couple of weeks before Little Willy was due. Of course I was having Braxton- Hicks contractions. We had to call Willy’s uncle, our pastor at the time, and he took us to the hospital….yep false alarm. I was so embarrassed! That was hard LOL

We’ll see how the rest of this week plays out. How we’ll get all the kids to school next week. How we’ll deal with Andrew’s test results. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the near future, but whatever does happen I know:
· God always takes care of me
· God will let nothing come my way that I cannot handle
· When there doesn’t seem to be anything else I can do, I just need to be still and wait

My house is full, but my fields are empty!

A song that' relates to my previous entry:
"My House is Full, But My Field is Empty"was written by Lanny Wolfe

There is peace and contentment in my Father's house today,
Lots of food on His table and no one turned away.
There is singing and laughter as the hours pass by,
But a hush calms the singing as the Father sadly cries,

My house is full, but my field is empty,
Who will go and work for Me today.
It seems my children want to stay around my table,
But no one wants to work my fields,
No one wants to work my fields.

Push away from the table.

Look out through the windowpane,
Just beyond the house of plenty
Lies a field of golden grain.
And it's ripe unto harvest,
But the reapers, where are they?
In the house,Oh, can't the children hear
the Father sadly say,

My house is full, but my field is empty,
Who will go and work for Me today.
It seems my children want to stay around my table,
But no one wants to work my fields,
No one wants to work my fields.

My heart is heavy

Ok I posted a scrapbook page about this subject a couple of years ago. But something I saw a few weeks ago has me broken-hearted.

As stated in my profile my husband and I pastor a small “missions” church in Oakland. We’ve struggled for years in this area but really feel that this is where God wants us to be. Willy and I have always had a burden for the city of Oakland. I grew up there and my husband has spent many years there also.

We are comfortable where most people are not, we talk to people who most would ignore or look down opon.

We’ve really been seeking the Lords’ direction for our ministry as it seems we have been huge failures in this work. I know we haven’t failed, because we keep at it and have not given up.

Willy has an amazing Vision for our church, he as a tremendous heart for the people, all people. We have been trying to get our food ministry off of the ground for quite sometime now. We’ve put bags of groceries together, we’ve made lunches, we were even getting weekly emergency phone calls from people who needed food.

But it’s hard to feed people when you don’t have money. Our church is supported by only two families and it’s just not possible to feed people with no money and we refuse to feed people a bunch of junk like dented cans of lima beans.

All of that aside, the thing that has me broken hearted happened a few weeks ago, during one of our lunch giveaways. We have service in a “Storefront” church, like so many churches in Oakland. After our short prayer service our family went out in front of the church, set up a table, got some fliers together and began to set up our bags of lunches on the table. The boys went off to pass out the fliers and encourage people to come get a lunch.

Well, we had a lot of the street people come up and talk to us, mainly to my husband. Lots of people recognized him and asked him where he had been and said they missed him out there. See, Willy was going out once a week with staple-type food and everyone was getting to know him. Well, this woman, who was definitely loaded came up, got her bag, talked to my husband for a while and said she was going to come back with some friends who might need lunch too.

In the meantime, the church next door was letting out. This woman walked by and a couple of the “elders” of the church pretty much made a barricade so she could not pass. They actually put their arms out and were pushing her out of the way, making her walk in the other direction. They didn’t want her there; they didn’t want her near their people, or their church. The sad thing is my kids stood there watching.

My kids watched as this woman who truly needs help, not just with food but to get her LIFE together, get pushed around by a bunch of church people. People who a few minutes ago were praising the Lord, getting happy and hearing the Word.

My boys were astonished, not that this woman stunk, not that she was loaded and talking crazy, not that her hair was matted down because she hadn’t washed it in probably weeks, not that she was dirty and probably had no home. They were astonished at the actions of these CHRISTIANS.

But what do we do? The storefront we are in is not our building and the people who let us hold services there don’t want people we don’t know in the building. The church next door doesn’t want the riffraff around. Christians we know don’t want to come to our church because of the “location” and the lack of “glamour” in the church.

Someone from the church next door came up to my husband while we were giving out the lunches and made a comment “Oh you’re doing what our church is doing! Except our church gives out lunches to our congregation after service”

What’s happened to the Shepherd’s of the church looking for the lost sheep? What happened to leaving the 99 to bring in the 1? Would Jesus be accepting a lunch from the church after service or would He be the one out there talking to the drug addicted mom offering to feed her?

I know most people don’t see what Willy and I see, but I know my kids see it now. I can understand not wanting these people in front of your business, your shopping mall, eating establishments and your home. But if they can’t be around your church where can they go?

It's a girl!

My friend had her baby this morning, we knew it was going to be a girl...lucky her!! She's tiny, 5lbs and change.

No girls for me though! No girls for me :(

No sisters, no grandmother, no daughters, no mother. No girls for me.

But I do have girl friends. Friends I've talk to almost every day for the past 3 months Laurie.

Friends I talk to every day at work, Ginny.

Friends I talk to a couple times a week, Celia, Suzy.

Friends I talk to a couple times per month, Rene, Lisa, Lara, Michelle, Grace, Lizz, Lonae.

Friends who I don't see or talk to but a couple times per year and everytime we get together it seems as though we've never been apart. Jennean & Kathy. Girl friends with whom I've shed many tears. I've grieved with, I've shared joys of children, losses of babies, mothers, fathers. I've shared successes and failures. Hurts and pains with these women. Laughter that literally makes you pee your pants, I've shared with these women...and...even farts.

So I guess, when I REALLY think about it, I do have girls, my girls, my girl friends.

To all my girls out there, Love ya! (and if I've forgotten to name you please forgive me and slap me upside the head next time you see me k?)

A friend loveth at all times, and will even pick the lice out for you

I miss my "little" babies. I can’t believe how big and how old my boys are. I had a really rough time when they were little. 3 boys ages 4 and under was HARD! But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love my boys and I’m proud of what they’re becoming….Even if the do write “fff” and send hate mail to each other!

My good friend and church member is having a baby tonight, well at least she’s going to the hospital right now. She’s got two little ones right now 2 & 4, the oldest is a boy and the 2yo is an adorable, feisty little girl, my god daughter.

I totally understand what she’s going through, she’s a wonderful mom and lives for her children. Sometimes I feel so bad, I remember how hard it was having that many little ones at home and having to care for them. She’s the sweetest woman and her and her husband helped me so much when Willy was sick and in the hospital.

Celia was there for me at what I consider one of the lowest points of my life.

Willy had just had a stroke and was in the “Rehab” hospital for therapy. We had the three little ones, they were 5, 7 & 9, it was REALLY tough for me. Trying to be there for Willy for each of his therapy sessions and trying to keep a balance with seeing my kids. To this day I don’t know how I did it but I’m here, well actually I know it was God that brought me through, that's how I did it!

Various people were watching my kids, my mother in law and another friend of ours who had four kids themselves.

Willy was getting better, he still couldn’t walk or read, could barely talk, but we knew his foot was “out of the grave” at least. The kids and I were sitting in his room, talking when all of a sudden I see one of my kids scratching their heads. My heart sank, I just knew, I just KNEW. The family that was watching our boys had 3 girls. The girls were NOTORIOUS for having head lice.

I called to one of my boys and asked him to turn around so I could look at his head. I looked and I sobbed. I looked up at my helpless husband and sobbed. I immediately took my kids home and sat and sobbed. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know who to call to help me, I just didn’t know anything.

I reluctantly called Celia, I was embarrassed and in despair. I explained to her the situation, and asked if she could come over and help me. She immediately came over and helped me wash all of the clothes and beddings, bagged up all the toys and vacuumed while I went to the store for medicine and washed all the boys’ hair.

You know it might not seem like a big deal, but this point was the last straw. I had been so strong during this whole ordeal with Willy’s stroke, but this is the point that broke me. I just couldn’t take it, but thank God that my friend was there.

Not just there, but willing to help me with what I consider a nasty, disgusting, vile problem….BUGS! Never once did she wince, never did she gag, never did she show any signs of being uncomfortable, she just asked how she could help and she did.

I could tell her over and over again that what she did for me that night was probably the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. But she doesn't believe it. To her, it was nothing, no big deal, just helping out her friend and her pastor. But no one else was there, not my mother in law, not my sister in laws, she was.

This is the woman who is bringing another human being into this world, this kind, caring compassionate, humble woman who loves God with all her heart.

I pray everyday for God’s blessings upon her and her family. They truly are a blessing to me and to my husband’s ministry.

Te quiero mucho Celia! Gracias

I wonder?

Ok, I have all these questions in my head. Some silly, some serious. I think I will have lots of entries titled "I wonder?" here's the first of an endless series:

First off, I'm not trying to be mean, offensive, belittle or rude to anyone. I'm not poking fun, this is seriously a question I thought of today, I don’t know why but I did.

Ok, dogs are wonderful creatures….I don’t have any, but I’ve heard that they are intelligent creatures, some more than others. Helper dogs amaze me. Such as Guide dogs for the blind. BUT, here’s my question: what happens when these dogs go poo?

Do these dogs have litter boxes? Do their owners take them out for walks just like any other dog? But when they do their business, who picks it up? The master can’t see. He can’t just leave it there right? He can’t “feel” for it, or does he? Maybe with a glove on? How does he know the dog even left something behind? Well, I guess there’s a smell. Seriously though, how does this work?

Come on; please tell me I’m not the only one who has wondered about this.

Shut the FFF up?????

Ok I don’t know Blog “Etiquette” yet, I’ve already posted today but just HAD to document this little incident!

My gorgeous little Alex is in his room right now, for the rest of the night and he’ll most likely be scrubbing walls tomorrow. I should preface this entry with praise for my little one. He’s so smart! Reading FAR beyond his grade level, writing, he’s an extremely intelligent little boy. But as I’ve learned with my older 3 sons, intelligence has nothing to do with anything!

There was a ruckus in the kitchen, my husband was scolding one of the boys, but I wasn’t too sure who. Actually I wasn’t really paying attention. If he’s dealing with it then good, best I stay out of the picture.

Well, it wasn’t Andrew because he was walking into the living room as Willy was scolding, and the boys know better than to turn their backs when they’re being yelled at. It wasn’t Ben, because I didn’t hear him in contesting and pleading his case, something he does CONSTANTLY when we get on him about something.

All I hear is “Get in your room”. Well, Alex had just been released from a 45 minute confinement to his room for getting all crazy and jumping his brothers. Then I hear theses words from the little squeaky voice “No don’t show mom, I’m already in my room. Dad gave me the punishment, DON’T SHOW MOM!”

You know I don’t know what’s wrong with my kids. Do they think we live in a sound proof home? It never fails, 85% of the time my kids get caught doing something wrong is because I HEAR THEM! What’s up with that??? My sense of hearing AND smell is amazing when it comes to my kids. I swear, I can tell whose socks are on the floor just by the smell they let off. I can tell what they’ve snuck to eat because I can smell it on their breath….well, that’s another blog entry in itself!

So of course I say “What’s going on and I want to see”. Ben comes out with a piece of cardboard, and written on the cardboard are these words; “Shut the fff up”

I love the fact that my son can write, I love the fact that my son can read, but come on baby give me a BREAK!! It’s just one of those shake your head moments and move on with your life. But the thing is this isn’t the first time this has happened.

A couple of months after Alex started Kinder, he was really upset with is brother, so he decided to write his brother a little “hate mail”. The boys showed me the hate mail Andrew received from his oh so cute little curly headed brother and it read : “Freekin Androo” Guess he was really ticked at him for something! Yep, cute little “Preacher’s kids” huh???

Dance like no one is watching = Work like EVERYONE is watching!

Just got home from work. I really do love my job. I always get the butterflies in my stomach just like the kids when it's time to go back to school, it's exciting, a fresh new year, new friends, new clothes. It's fun.

I go back to work 3 weeks before the kids do. I'm actually one of two clerical people who go back this early. So, I'm pretty much alone in my office.

Today got me really thinking about my work ethic. Even though there's no one in my office and I'm really not "monitored" there's this drive in me when I wake up in the morning to get to work on time. I don't stop for coffee or a donut, I don't take extra time in the shower, I get up, get ready and go.

Willy even made breakfast for me this morning and instead of taking five minutes to drink my coffee and sit and eat my french toast, I grabbed my cup and plate and ran to the car to get to work so I wouldn't be late.

There's no fooling around when I get to work either, I guess I know what I'm supposed to do and how much work is involved in getting school started, but I get so intense sitting there all by myself making sure the work gets done. And what if it doesn't get done? I guess no one would really notice, but me, there are a lot of "maintenance" things people have no idea about. But that's why I'm "anal" about it, because I CAN'T STAND a job half-done!

Now, if you were to look around my house you'd never be able to tell how anal I am, but when it comes to work, EVERYTHING must get done and done properly! No one really knows how hard I work, because my job is so detailed no one really "see's" what I do. But I know and God knows.

I take great pride in my work, I strive to be efficient, I'm extremely detailed. Everyday I strive to work like someone is watching, but even if they are not, I know I've given it my all.

You know your butts too big when.....

You're sitting in the bathtub and your letting the water drain out and you think the tub is empty, but you move a little bit to one side and a huge rush of water comes out from behind you!!!!! Your butt's too big! Anytime you can use your butt as a dam, it's too big.

When you can stand in between the kitchen and front room doorway and 6 inches of your butt is in the kitchen while the rest of you is in the front room.....your butt's too big!!

When you go to get up off the toilet seat and you can hear the seal between the toliet seat and your butt break (like opening a fresh jar of pickles) you KNOW your butt's too big!

Speaking of big butts, we went to Marine World last week. We went on the "Rapids" ride and got all wet, I was soaked through and through. My niece and I had to make a pit stop before moving on to the next ride.

So we both go into the ladies' room. I get into the stall and pull out the butt gaskets (toilet seat covers), I always use two...don't know why I just do, I don't hover too well either, I always feel like I'm gonna fall in. Well I do my business and go to get up, well, my butt was still wet from the water ride, and of course it was a pretty hot day. I couldn't get that cover off of my butt for NOTHIN!

First I tried shakin' what my momma gave me....nope stuck. Then I try bending my knees and doing sort of pretend "squats" to get the thing unstuck from my behind, nope no luck. So reluctantly, I reach back there to pull the cover off of my rear and of course, it comes of in pieces!! Not all at once, in pieces. Here I am having to peel little of pieces of this paper off of my hieny. God it took forever!!! I didn't even know if I had got it all at the time because by then my butt was so cold from being in wet pants and underware (from the water ride of course) that it was numb!!!!!

Well I get outside and my boys are waiting for me and I look around for my niece and she's not there yet. She finally comes out and explained my little problem to her and I asked if she had the same problem. She was just laughing and laughing and said she DID have the same problem. Now she's a little thing, no where near my size, so I guess that's not just a big butt problem!!!

Come on fess up....I can't be the only one who has these big butt revelations!

What's up with that name?

Well, a couple of years ago I woke up from a deep sleep with a phrase stuck in my head. It was a "Serendipity" moment for me, I gasped in amazement at the phrase and said to myself "That’s gonna be the name of my memoirs. The book of my life story. PERFECT!" Well of course I don't remember what the heck that phrase was so here I battle to name my blog.

In the battle I thought of my favorite poet and my favorite poem. A poem I recited both in Spanish and English at my 6th grade graduation from Melrose Elementry School: Mother to son by Langston Hughes.

Mother to Son by Langston Hughes
Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now—For I'se still goin',
honey,I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Little did I know at that time that this poem would have such an impact on my life. That the trials I'd face in my life would mirror this mother. That one day I'd share my experiences with my sons and admonish them in the same manner.

Well, that's the short version of why I've named my blog.

This is all new to me, I used to get too personal and mushy when I would write. I just let it all out there. I'll try not to 'cause I know this is like out for the entire world to see but then again, if my experiences can encourage just one to keep on pressing forward then it's all worth it.

I used to write, a lot. When I was young. Then my mom died and I stopped. Never wrote again, untill I started journaling in my scrapbook pages. I'd write a few paragraphs here and there but nothing too long or involved. Maybe this will get me back into the "groove" and get my brain to start flowing in tune with my heart once again. We'll see, it's only been like 20 years.